Today’s prompt asks me to reflect on the things I wanted to try in 2010 and didn’t, and to think about things I’d like to try in 2011. Frankly, I feel like I’ve tried enough for a while. It’s been an extremely stressful year full of trying new things. I think I’d like the dust to settle before trying anything else. Every day is a new event with my baby, stretching my creativity to its limit: “What could be wrong this time?” “What else can I try to help you be happy?” 🙂
I think, though, that if I need to pick something to try in 2011, I would pick two things. The first is yoga, because I wish I were the type of woman who did yoga. The type of woman who does yoga is adorable and limber and wears cute outfits and doesn’t have creaky knees from running. She does not have a postpartum baby pooch. The type of woman who does yoga AND takes her baby to a Mommy and Me yoga class is exponentially cuter (because of The Baby Effect: anything involving a baby is cute. Things that were already cute become cuter. Things that are disgusting, like poop, are still cute.).
The second thing, and this may necessitate the jettisoning of thing 1, is to be kinder to myself. I don’t mean in a pampering, self-indulgent, “take time for me” sort of way, though maybe I should do that, too. For me, being kinder to myself has more to do with monitoring my internal dialogue. I should talk to myself as though I were my own friend, and too often I do not do that. If my friend forgot to bring diapers on a cross-country plane trip, would I tell her she was a total idiot? “How could you be so stupid? What were you thinking? Where is your brain? It’s a good thing you’re just a mom and not a teacher anymore because you are really dumb. Idiot. Go buy some more in the concourse– if you can even find some. They’re going to be overpriced, so you’re going to be wasting money you don’t have– again. Dolt. Numbskull. Ninnyhammer.” Of course not! I would laugh and hug my friend and help her find diapers. I have felt a little bit worthless lately, and I think turning off channel KFKD (thanks Anne Lamott!) will help.
What are you going to try this year?